If only things were that easy. People fucking suck. Family fucking sucks. Dead Beat BDs fucking suck. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to start this week *sarcasm*. Yesterday, I read this horoscope thing about a new moon and things changing and it being difficult. Sometimes it seems impossible to catch a fucking break, like does it always have to be so difficult. When will this shit let us.
Finally pursued child support. Of course it barely covers daycare, because I make more than him. After waiting on this fkn zoom meeting for 3 hours, he finally joins. He’s such a piece of shit, but I have no more fight in my body for this boy, so I just agreed with everything. Fuck it and him.
I’ve been working harder bexusss of the upcoming move and additional expenses I’m going to incur. Thought I could lean more on family, false. It’s always an issue. It’s not like I’m not always with my child when I’m not working, hell even when she stays home with me and I am working, I’m on calls with client and I have my baby in my lap.
Being tired, exhausted is nothing new. I’ve always felt this way, so I won’t blame it on becoming a single parent. It was easier to maneuver because I only had to focus on me, and I didn’t need anybody, and now the few times that I do. I feel like I’m pulling teeth.
My life has always been difficult, but I thought it would get easier .. better. I thought I was taking the necessary steps for success. Constantly getting knocked down gets old. Just to be told to keep trying, keep going. I know quitting isn’t an option because of my daughter, but sometimes that’s exactly what I want to do.