The Problem with Dating an Ex

So I’ve noticed a few things from interactions with exes, and essentially have learned the problem with dating an ex. My problem with dating my exes, to be more specific. 

Change! After not having been together with someone for soo long, the fact that you’ve changed/matured, is always an issue. I believe it’s because that person is so used to having you in a certain way, and remembers your relationship in a different light. They can’t fathom (or maybe don’t want to) offer anything different.

As you get older, your desires/wants/etc should be changing with your experiences. What I wanted as an 18 year old girl or even a 22 year old young woman, isn’t what I want as a single mom in my 30’s. They say you change or you’re acting funny as if it’s a bad thing, but honestly they just don’t want to level up to meet your current standards. 

Expectations. It’s irking that people don’t expect you to change or that people get upset because you expect certain things from them. Whenever I talk to my exes and try to express what I would like or expect, it’s always an issue. Like, I know I didn’t set certain expectations when I was younger. I understand that I allowed a lot of things to occur, which I shouldn’t have. When you’re young, and still trying to figure out yourself as well as how to be in a relationship, it’s all trial and error. I haven’t met an ex that understands that. They brush it off, as if they already know me. But you don’t know me. You knew the girl I was when I was 18, not the woman I am with real expectations. 

I had a friend once tell me that he never dated exes. Never went back to an old relationship. That was so foreign to me at that time, lol, because I’ve become so used to allowing my exes to have multiple changes, even when no change was there. Now I get it. Now I understand why getting back with an ex is rarely a good thing, or the best thing. 

But again, this is just my personal experience. 

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